Jamie's Birthday

Last time I cried was when she left. I said to all the friends and family who wanted to make me feel better after my baby left for college: I just want to sit here in her room, by myself for a little while, just me and my memories of her and I, from day one of her came into this world to the moment she turned her head back to me at the door way that morning, smiling so brightly, saying - bye mommy. I wanted to cried, to feel the ache of my heart, to miss her, to miss every day the past 18 years we spent together ...

I stopped crying only a day later. The world is so absolutely beautiful for her, I can't cry any longer, not  that I have to force myself not too, I just was so full of joy, for her; my heart soar with her - if I could sing, I  would; if I could dance, I would!

Today, September 5, 1994, 19995, 1996 ... 2010, 2011 ... 2013? 19 years!!!! I want to hold her in my arms, I want to kiss her, I want to see her smiling face, shining eyes. Instead, I sang the happy birthday song in my text, on her facebook timeline, she texted back to me: love you MOMMY. 

So the first time in a month, my eyes filled with tears again. Oh, my baby! How I love you so dearly!!!

Happy Birthday!!!!